So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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