Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
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test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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