So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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