watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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