I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i need some magic done to my vagina
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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