I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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