apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It's never too late to be topless.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Your penis caused this!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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