You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize