Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
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I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
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Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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