I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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