That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
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did i walk over a car last night?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
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Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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