...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
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Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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