just survived the first fart of the relationship.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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