some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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