On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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