Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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