D3 body, D1 cock
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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