I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
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i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
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I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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