11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize