How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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