He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize