the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize