I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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