Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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