if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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