I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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