So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize