Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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