if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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