I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize