That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize