I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize