I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize