On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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