I think my fart just growled at me.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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