that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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