I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize