i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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