White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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