I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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