Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize