I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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