I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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