Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize