I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
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She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
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be right there i have to get my cape
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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