Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
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Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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