The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
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I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
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There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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