So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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