after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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