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Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
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