I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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