Texts From Last Night

quillerdiller's Favorites Texts:

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  (646): View more from New York

  If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better

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  (646): If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better http://tfl.nu/zbhj
  Replies (3) Good night (1331) Bad night (763) Order T-Shirt
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  (435): View more from Utah

  I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read

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  (435): I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read http://tfl.nu/7a19
  Replies (14) Good night (2490) Bad night (394) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.

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  (209): No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you. http://tfl.nu/dxdf
  Replies (3) Good night (509) Bad night (940) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.

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  (780): I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat. http://tfl.nu/b7sx
  Replies (6) Good night (1249) Bad night (362) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.

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  (602): Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk. http://tfl.nu/8anb
  Replies (11) Good night (2786) Bad night (572) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?

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  (714): She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what? http://tfl.nu/cv8q
  Replies (51) Good night (1049) Bad night (4932) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.

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  (719): I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone. http://tfl.nu/u0bu
  Replies (4) Good night (1348) Bad night (402) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!

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  (316): At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?! http://tfl.nu/842p
  Replies (1) Good night (622) Bad night (1218)
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  (619): View more from California

  Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...

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  (619): Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by... http://tfl.nu/g8gw
  Replies (9) Good night (3553) Bad night (574)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself

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  (843): I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself http://tfl.nu/cqdr
  Replies (6) Good night (1689) Bad night (569) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.

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  (214): I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be. http://tfl.nu/287t
  Replies (4) Good night (1271) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.

  (682): View more from Texas

  They're mostly guys

  (817): View more from Texas

  Early bird gets the worm.

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  (817): I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single. (682): They're mostly guys (817): Early bird gets the worm. http://tfl.nu/9qay
  Replies (7) Good night (2343) Bad night (410)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.

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  (248): It's fine...I've done worse things to better people. http://tfl.nu/e0kr
  Replies (3) Good night (1593) Bad night (491) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.

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  (203): Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar. http://tfl.nu/i0ni
  Replies (16) Good night (3045) Bad night (590) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.

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  (978): Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus. http://tfl.nu/c88k
  Replies (8) Good night (2892) Bad night (457) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?

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  (310): At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude? http://tfl.nu/d5u6
  Replies (5) Good night (1079) Bad night (395) Order T-Shirt