Texts From Last Night · mashadar001's Favorites

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

mashadar001's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

ADVERTISEMENT

(714): View more from California

I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.

Fav 19 4173 1883
share tweet
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.

Fav 42 2605 4943
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(641): View more from Iowa

TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY

Fav 8 2496 1487
share tweet
(907): View more from Alaska

I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess

Fav 25 4057 1313
share tweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?

Fav 15 1304 5278
share tweet
(510): View more from California

listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.

Fav 22 3797 1342
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(850): View more from Florida

The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.

Fav 47 2196 7561
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(646): View more from New York

She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."

Fav 5 2919 1175
share tweet

(970): View more from Colorado

We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.

(303): View more from Colorado

Dude, its January.

(970): View more from Colorado

We're going to do the voices too.

Fav 13 5779 1240
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT